True Friendship

The minute I finished the book, Firefly Lane by Kristin Hannah several years ago, I knew I needed my best friend to read it. As usual, I recommended it, and if I am not mistaken, I bought her a copy of it to ensure she would read it! The premise of the book is how two young girls become friends for life. TullyandKate—inseparable. They grow up during the Seventies just as my best friend and I did. The difference between us is that we didn't know each other until our 3rd year in college! At that, we have been friends going on 35 years! The fact that we did not grow up together does not diminish that we consider each other as best friends.

My best friend, Laura, and I have gone through the parts of life where maturity leaves us reeling... marriage, children, graduate work, financial stresses, careers, teenagers, illnesses, adult children—you get where I am going with this? The hard stuff! There were years when we didn't see each other or hear from one another because life got in the way, but once one or the other got a niggling feeling that one needed the other, contact was made and we would pick up from where we would leave off and be present for the other. I think that is one major characteristic of our friendship that I am most grateful for. In the last twenty years or so we have been more in touch with each other (mostly through the phone as we live four hours away from one another).

I brought up the point of maturity because my mature self knows to put away jealousy when it comes to friendship, but one day Laura posted something on social media about her other BFF, and I kid you not, my heart was bruised! I felt a little off for a few days. How could she have another BFF? So where's the maturity? I know. I'm getting to it. After a few days, my rational self reconciled that, of course, she has another best friend or friends. These friends she is quite close to as well. It was obvious at her wedding when she had eight bridesmaids and none of us were her Maid of Honor. She couldn't have picked one without possibly hurting someone's feelings.

She had a whole other life before we met! And isn't the point of being her best friend to allow her space to be all of who she is? Love her unconditionally? Accept that I cannot be everything she needs by way of support and day to day camaraderie that I, obviously, cannot provide her due to distance. In the midst of all this nebulous feeling I was experiencing, the second season of Firefly Lane was released (Yes, the book was turned into a series!). We watched separately, of course, and are due to talk about it soon. The holidays got in the way and all, but in the quick exchanges of text messages about different episodes I received one very powerful one from Laura. It read, "Nothing ever will come between us (with a heart emoji)." And with that my bruised heart was mended! These are the things about a true friendship—a true understanding about the other person and giving them the room to be who they are—completely (before and after you existed in their lives).

I am grateful to Kristin Hannah for putting her words down into a book that has not only given Laura and I opportunity for conversation, but also some sort of blueprint we make up as we go along to use as a model for our daughters about what it means to be a true friend with another girl. I am most grateful to God for my BFF, Laura. Here's to another 35+ years of friendship! Love you, girl! LauraandLolly est.1988