Memories Recalled, Made, and Fading

Many people may experience when families get together in conversations various memories being recalled and often repeated. As younger generations become wiser, they start to ask questions or ask for elaboration on some of those memories. I am of the generation that is now asking questions! It has become more evident that my parents, aunts and uncles are aging and now is the time to be asking questions and clarifications of things I want to know. It is always fun to sit around my family and listen to them recall memories of when they were growing up. On one of my more recent visits, I got to hear great stories about my grandmother being a trickster and high school stories from the 50s and 60s. It is pretty captivating to hear the differences and the similarities in high jinks that kids (from different generations) can get themselves into.

Recently we celebrated my mother's 80th birthday. We made some fun memories celebrating her. We held a birthday lunch for her and her sisters, daughters, granddaughters, and even great granddaughters! We played bingo and enjoyed each other's company. I know I have learned about being a good sibling from my mother and her siblings. They look out for each other and support each other when necessary. They worked as a team when their parents were hospitalized or needed something done at their home. The evening of her birthday everyone gathered, enjoyed dinner, and sang Happy Birthday to her. Watching my mother look beautiful and happy is a memory I will carry with me for a long time.

With aging comes the concern of memories fading. It is difficult for children of older parents to watch them forget immediate events or ask something they had just been discussed. With the reality of Dementia or Alzheimer's as diseases that rob families of their loved ones, it is hard not to worry about that becoming our reality! What I have come to terms with is that we must be patient with our aging parents. Their ability to maneuver life is much different than how we are used to seeing them. Another thing I have come to understand is that we should make the most of our time with our parents and aging family members. If there is discord within a family, it is best that it get cleared up so that there are no regrets once a family member passes on. It is best to have good family memories rather than ones that bring unhappiness. We are only on the Earth for a short amount of time, we should strive to live in harmony most especially within our families.

If there is one thing I can offer families is this: record these stories that your older family memories tell, but also the ones you are living right now. You can record them in writing, photographs, video recording, or even just audio recording them. I was blown away when my dad told the story about when he went to ask my grandfather for permission to date my mother. He went through the whole story, and then it dawned on me that it would be great to have his voice recording of that story. So as I engaged him in conversation I circled back and asked him to retell the story and I pressed "Record" on my phone's voice recorder and captured it. What a priceless gift to own. Of course, writing down stories that have been told will also be treasures that the younger generations will be able to use as they develop into grown ups. We learn about who we are and where we come from through events that happened even before we were born. We see traits of ourselves in those who came before us.

Treasure your time with family and take some time to not only make and treasure memories, but also preserve them before they fade.